For myself and I suspect many other black women, we don’t feel bad looking at thin women because we have heard positive affirmations about our body shape all our lives, from all types of men and from other women. We also have mothers and other female family members who showed little or no dismay at their bodies. I can recall going over to white friends’ houses as a kid and teenager and their mothers were always on diets, always moaning about being too fat. My mom didn’t seem to care; when she wanted to lose weight for health reasons she took up walking and cut down on over-eating. She never made her weight the focus of her life or basis for self-esteem.

I don’t know why any white woman really believes that a big round butt is a bad thing, every man I’ve ever dated has been very enthusiastic and wowed by my bum. And why would I want it to? I have a fantastic body. Even when I was 210 pounds I still got whistled at and hit on all the time. There’s no way I’m going to let ‘the media’ make me feel bad when people tell me I’m fine all the time. Also, no matter what my weight most of my fat is in my butt and thighs. Even when I was very thin I had a big behind and thick legs. I’m also very muscular in those areas. That’s my body shape, it’s never going to change. So why should I hate my body and have a negative body image? That’s like hating myself because I have 2 legs or something equally crazy.

That said, losing weight and getting fit shouldn’t be about how you look or what you think your level of attractiveness should be. It’s about your health, and within my culture the acceptance of excessive body fat leads to many black women having weight-related health problems that decrease the quality of their life and shorten their lifespan. Losing weight and becoming fit is not going to affect your color or culture. It just may save your life.

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