I’m feeling kind of down on my body today. I was reading again about Saartjie Baartman, who was also known as the Hottentot Venus. It’s especially depressing for me to read because I am shaped similarly and even though many many years have passed since what she went through it seems to me that the perception of ‘typical’ black women’s bodies has remained the same. and I have to put up with that attitude, and deal with it. No matter how much weight I lose, my body shape will remain the same.

How do I deal with it? Basically, I don’t. I hide my body by dressing in long, loose, flowing skirts and dresses. I refuse to wear pants anymore because in pants I just look, for lack of a better word, obscene. People stare, and comment. When I wear exercise or yoga pants, I wear a long skirt over them. Skirts and dresses minimize my large, round buttocks and thick thighs while pants seem to accent them.

This has been on my mind a lot because the weather is getting warmer and I’m thinking about summer wear. Especially swimsuits. Since I’ve lost weight my husband has been talking about me getting into a bikini, but that is not going to happen…I’m just not ready to deal with the stares and comments. I think I will get a modest one piece and wear a long swim skirt with it.

I love my body, and I love my shape. I just wish I didn’t feel like such a freak.

Today’s Health Goals:
30 minutes yoga
45 minutes walking at 4.5mph
Drink 120 oz water
One serving meals, no seconds
Raw veggies or air-popped popcorn for snacks
Fruit for dessert
Brush & floss after every meal
Today’s weigh-in: 155 pounds
Goal Weight: 130 pounds

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